It's my last week of formal classes in PT school. Amidst studying for finals and saying goodbye to many dear friends, I'm packing up and getting ready for the move back to SC for internships this fall.
This morning I went to Starbucks to journal out some stuff and spend time with the Lord before going to Creekside for my last time worshipping there for a while. I had put in my favorite Hillsong CD and had turned up my favorite song as I made my way across town to the church. Singing, I turned left at a light and from out of nowhere there is a blue SUV on my right side that side swiped me and then kept going. Absolutely furious and pumping with adrenaline, I put my foot on the gas to try to make the guy pull over or at least get his tag number. As I glance in my rear view mirror, I see a cop come through the intersection. I took a deep breath and then watched as the cop passed me and pulled up behind the man who'd hit me. I pulled up and stopped behind the cop. It was only then that I kind of realized what had just happened and came unravelled. We pulled off to the side and figured everything out. The man was nice enough, and we got everything exchanged and went on our way.
By the time I actually got to church, I only caught the last 5-10minutes of the message and the last worship set. As I walked in, I was so tempted to be angry. Here I was, robbed of my last time worshipping in church, and I was tired and bitter - I'm trying Lord... why?? as I'm trying to study for finals and move and honor You in the process... why? The pastor was finishing up his message and I quieted my heart to listen. He said, "The very fact that the sun rose this morning, that the earth is still spinning, that the earth is still the distance it needs to be from the sun is evidence enough of God's faithfulness... not to mention the fact that He sent Christ to die for me. The question is, will we be faithful?" Wow, I am so tempted to look at my circumstances and complain and think that for some reason I deserve better or that this shouldn't have happened to me. NO! In that moment, I realized I could not let the schemes of Satan, those stupid little lies, twisted truths rob me of worshipping God. As they played the last worship set, I wept as I praised God that no one had been hurt, that there had been a cop who had seen it and chased the guy down, that i was able to call my dad and get his help, that I have 2 amazing roommates that I knew I could call and would come help me if I needed it, that I was a block from church, that I have a church body here... I could go on and on. God's hand was all over this morning.
After church, I had some people double check that I could actually drive my car home, which actually had it's own set of frustrations involved. I got frustrated as a guy first talked about how terrible Jeeps are and then berated me for how I was taking care of my car (buying the cheapest gas, where I get my oil changed, etc.) rather than just telling me whether I could get home or not, but in the end, I know he was trying to help and am thankful for that. I drove home, exhausted, thinking and praying "Lord, I am trying to praise you through this, to not be proud and be faithful, but this is a little much on top of finals and such."
I got home and shared the whole story with my roommate. She grabbed her Bible, opened it up to a page and told me to read vs. 2-4. It was James 1:2-4. Amidst the last few weeks of school, I had been feeling discouraged and had felt encouragement from a few passages that I e-mailed out to a few people in my class. On Thursday, one of my classmates walked up to me and thanked me for sharing and said he'd been reading in James. Familiar with the passage, I nodded my head and begrudgingly went back to studying.
So, when Elissa shared this same passage, i was overcome with... I don't even know what, just overwhelmed as I read over words I've seen and heard so many times, but that now had such a fresh meaning: "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."
Indeed, pasa chara (greek for count it all joy and my apartments motto the past year). God is so faithful. I can't take the little everyday things for granted because they prove to me each day that my God is so good and faithful. And He sent His Son to walk a perfect life on this earth and die on my behalf. Is there anything more God could have done for me? Is there anything else I deserve? Certainly not... that is more than enough. I won't let circumstances rob me of the joy and peace there is in surrender and worship of my King and my Father.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thoughts for today
The last few weeks, I have been participating in my first clinical internship. My first internship has been at a hospital, and I have absolutely loved it. I have worked primarily with neuro patients who tend to be pleasantly confused about life, which presents many challenges but usually offers some humor as well. The way I see it, when you are as sick as some of these patients are or have been through what some of them have, I'd much rather be out of my mind and flying around the world and through time in my imagination as well.
The past few weeks we have bounced around to some different floors, cardiac, med-surg, other ICUs, etc. We have stumbled upon some characters in these adventures. One in particular that will stick out in my mind for a while was a man who was born just before the Depression. He and his roommate commiserated as they told us stories about growing up with only 2 hours worth of radio broadcasting per week, with no TV, etc. etc. Kind of that some old "you young folks don't realize how good you have it" lesson. Which is very true.
In high school, one of our teachers made us read Tom Brokaw's The Greatest Generation, a compilation of interviews and stories of this generation that grew up during the Depression, then fought valiantly through 2 world wars, stuck together through all the turmoil of the mid-1900s and now comprise our dwindling elderly generation. I grew to admire this generation through this book and through many talks and interviews with grandparents. They have so much wisdom; they've been through so much and yet remain so humble and self-less.
Then today happened. I heard about Osama bin Ladin's killing today at the hospital, but was kind of out of the loop as to what actually happened. So, I came home and youtubed Obama's speech he gave last night announcing what had happened. I was overwhelmed as he spoke about the families of those killed on 9/11 and about the unity we experienced as a nation around that time. But what brought me to tears was when he spoke of our troops and a generation that has paid the majority of the price during this war. It hit me as I thought of friends, family, family of friends, young men and women so close to me that are part of different branches of the armed forces, those that dream of serving one day, my generation. I tend to be pretty tough on my generation here in America, judgmental at times of the rebellion and lack of responsibility and integrity I see in many around me. But today, I was thankful. We have been through a lot since 2001 when many of us still lived with our parents and were under a naive impression of what the world had to offer us. We entered a different world than that of generations before us, and so many have valiantly stepped up to the plate to serve those around them and fight for justice and peace no matter the cost.
I have wondered at times if we could ever experience anything like "the greatest generation" again, if anyone would ever look back on the legacy we leave with that sort of admiration and praise. With today's revelation, I can't help but think that 50 or 60 years down the road, we, my friends, my generation, will be those telling tales in the hospital rooms of a time when we once again answered the call and fought bravely in the face of evil. Many things the past decade have marked us and refined us, causing us to mature in ways I hope are not easily forgotten.
The past few weeks we have bounced around to some different floors, cardiac, med-surg, other ICUs, etc. We have stumbled upon some characters in these adventures. One in particular that will stick out in my mind for a while was a man who was born just before the Depression. He and his roommate commiserated as they told us stories about growing up with only 2 hours worth of radio broadcasting per week, with no TV, etc. etc. Kind of that some old "you young folks don't realize how good you have it" lesson. Which is very true.
In high school, one of our teachers made us read Tom Brokaw's The Greatest Generation, a compilation of interviews and stories of this generation that grew up during the Depression, then fought valiantly through 2 world wars, stuck together through all the turmoil of the mid-1900s and now comprise our dwindling elderly generation. I grew to admire this generation through this book and through many talks and interviews with grandparents. They have so much wisdom; they've been through so much and yet remain so humble and self-less.
Then today happened. I heard about Osama bin Ladin's killing today at the hospital, but was kind of out of the loop as to what actually happened. So, I came home and youtubed Obama's speech he gave last night announcing what had happened. I was overwhelmed as he spoke about the families of those killed on 9/11 and about the unity we experienced as a nation around that time. But what brought me to tears was when he spoke of our troops and a generation that has paid the majority of the price during this war. It hit me as I thought of friends, family, family of friends, young men and women so close to me that are part of different branches of the armed forces, those that dream of serving one day, my generation. I tend to be pretty tough on my generation here in America, judgmental at times of the rebellion and lack of responsibility and integrity I see in many around me. But today, I was thankful. We have been through a lot since 2001 when many of us still lived with our parents and were under a naive impression of what the world had to offer us. We entered a different world than that of generations before us, and so many have valiantly stepped up to the plate to serve those around them and fight for justice and peace no matter the cost.
I have wondered at times if we could ever experience anything like "the greatest generation" again, if anyone would ever look back on the legacy we leave with that sort of admiration and praise. With today's revelation, I can't help but think that 50 or 60 years down the road, we, my friends, my generation, will be those telling tales in the hospital rooms of a time when we once again answered the call and fought bravely in the face of evil. Many things the past decade have marked us and refined us, causing us to mature in ways I hope are not easily forgotten.
